Privilege & Self-Care
A close relative of mine recently indicated to me that my prioritizing self-care is "selfish." The intended energy was that of shame. I can't believe he said that!
Sisters, don't let anyone shame you into thinking self-care is not a good thing. I would even argue that if you have the privilege of extra time for self-care, it's your responsibility to engage with it. The world needs the female energy and influences now more than ever and not only do we need to set better examples for our daughters, we also need to sustain our energy for the long road ahead.
Self-care has become my sacred sanctuary in very difficult times. It's been five years since I had several life-altering events happen back-to-back and two years of living alone during the pandemic trying to make it all work on a very low budget. During this time, I've suffered through a divorce, the death of my mother, the loss of a great therapist who moved away (with whom I later reconnected with virtually...thanks Covid!), the loss of a cat, and a very hard and sad breakup with a man I really loved. I also made the decision to leave a job that was no longer speaking to me so I could take a pause and figure some things out.
Self-care prevents a victimhood mentality and allows me to take a more pro-active role in my own life. It gives me a healthy container within which I can grow my spirit, alchemize emotional hardship and move forward as a better version of me. Self-care has taught me how to soothe and reparent myself through a shit-ton of grief and trauma. Self-care helps me show up in my life in the way I envision my highest self to be.
Self-care is like a medicine to me (I do not take Rx)...I suffered from, and am still suffering from, panic attacks and have had chronic anxiety most of my life. Self-care soothes my nervous system and my soul. I'm able to regulate my nervous system on my own for the most part (I also use cannabis medicinally and spiritually) using self-care methods that can bring me into the present moment. Methods like yoga, stretching, meditating, walking, gardening, taking a aromatherapy bath or shower, moon rituals, emotional alchemy and chakra clearing have not only allowed me to function, they have also given me the insight and wisdom necessary to move forward and step into the woman I know I am. And when I'm that woman, I've got everything I need or want and have so much to give. I am empowered and ready to help others!
And the other thing about all this? I am so fortunate and grateful to have the luxury and privilege of time! I realize that not all women are as fortunate. Many women around the globe are simply trying to survive. Many of my sisters here in the U.S. are working very long hours trying to make ends meet. We need to support each other as we move through this next season of the journey. Therefore, I do feel if I have the luxury of time, then I damn well better turn the tv off, stop scrolling and use that time to stay well and figure out how I might offer my gifts going forward to serve others.
I have become committed to scheduling as much time as possible to self-care every week and I hope you do the same for your self. And let's educate our sons, husbands, boyfriends, brothers, and fathers on its importance too. Tough times are ahead and, as influencers, we will need to sustain our energy for the long haul. The collective is counting on us.
Do it for the collective!
Do it for your daughters!
Do it for your self!
Do it for your sisters who can't!
May empowerment be yours,
Rene
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